Have you ever looked back and realized you could have never envisioned the path your life has taken? As I prepare to launch my new website and business, I am astounded at what has happened in my life to create this moment, now. This is why I bow down to my soul and revere its wisdom. Every time, and I really do mean every time, my mind starts to question or argue with life events, my soul eventually shows me just how perfect they are.
Last year, I thought I would be pregnant and then give birth to a baby.
Instead, I miscarried. Then I ended up being pregnant with my life’s work and giving birth to that instead.
Of course I mourned the loss of my baby. I grieved. I healed. But I’ve also had enough experience with my mind-body-soul connection to know that there was infinite wisdom in the experience, somewhere. I would just have to wait to see it.
Sure enough, I can see it now.
I needed to spend time writing and creating this new material. It brought me clarity. It connected me more deeply to my life’s mission: To facilitate the mind-body connection for anyone who needs it. To teach other coaches how to do the same. To help those who are suffering return to their inner wisdom, gain strength and confidence, and trust their own soul once again.
To do all that, I needed to connect with my own soul on a whole new level. Losing the baby and reassessing my whole life made me do that. It was the path I needed to take this past year.
Many years ago, a similar thing happened. I suffered mightily at the hands of chronic pain and mental panic. I went through hell. At that time, I didn’t trust my soul. I didn’t think it was happening to help me grow as a person. I just thought I was being tortured.
And yet…that experience forced me to take charge of my inner life. It forced me to stop playing the victim role and to dig deep into my own power. It forced me to learn how to heal myself, and to learn that was even possible. It forced me to look at where I was unwittingly creating stress in my body and imbalance in my psyche.
In the end, I became a totally new me. I became the real me, the Abigail who lets her soul sing, every day. Who no longer hides, hates her body, or uses achievement as her only way to self-worth. I became intimately aware and connected with my own soul, my spiritual beliefs, and the energy that keeps me alive, every day. I became a person who listens to her body, lets her emotions flow, and doesn’t criticize herself constantly.
I didn’t become perfect. I learned how to forgive myself for not being perfect, and how to know that I’m already perfect, just as I am.
I also found my life’s work, my passion, my calling – whatever you want to call it.
All that from suffering and pain.
Of course, I’d love to learn my big life lessons from joy instead of pain. And I actually think that’s possible, now. But I do know myself, and I know my stubborn streak. I needed a good whap upside the head to awaken to my true life path.
In just a couple weeks, anamsong will be officially born. I’ll be the proud mother of a baby I really do love, even if she’s not the one I thought I’d be holding in my arms. So maybe this post is my birth announcement. I’m so deliriously in love with everything that’s associated with anamsong. I love the Irish word “anam” in the name. I love that I’m finally finding a way to incorporate all of me into what I do – my musician self, my coach self, my writer self, and my teacher self. I love that I’ll be able to clearly serve three different groups of people: people in physical pain, people fighting mental stress, and coaches looking to grow amazing businesses.
You know what?
In a lot of ways, this birth announcement is really the rebirth of me. I feel whole and complete. I feel good in my own skin. I like who I am. I love who I am. I love what I do. Finally, all of me gets to come out and play.
When we fall off the shelf and shatter to pieces, we aren’t broken. Instead, we discover the amazing work of art that was inside all along.
I’ve fallen and shattered many times. I’ll probably do it again. But I’ll be reborn, just that much more whole, each time.
Let’s have a party to celebrate rebirth. I’m creating a new Facebook page for anamsong, and when it’s ready, I’ll let you know. You’re invited to come celebrate launch week there, with me. I don’t know what we’ll do at the party yet, but it will be virtual, fun, and whatever we want it to be. Share your party ideas with me! I might be sweaty, exhausted, and a proud new mama, but I’ll be ready to celebrate.
Posted on February 9, 2012 at 7:00 am