Oh there is definitely hope for you! Getting off that adrenaline roller-coaster is not always easy at first. What you think is “boring” is really your body and mind re-setting from “overstimulated!” It’s easy to get used to needing the adrenaline rush, which is of course why they call it being an adrenaline junkie! I feel your pain. But it can be done, truly!

Abigail

The other issue is that even if I am not doing work (and I am emotionally no fan of work much of the time, either), I have trouble finding things to do that really give me joy. I’ve never really had hobbies, and I much prefer to dabble than to take classes (and in fact I feel too lazy to even dabble at times).

Because of being sick, there are even fewer things that I enjoy (I used to be a big foodie and enjoyed going and doing things with friends). I am trying to slowly find my way to joy, but it’s very difficult when you’ve spent much of your life in fight-or-flight mode, with occasional boredom in-between.

My goal is to become less of a perfectionist and to take better care of my body in a variety of ways. Other people have managed to change their lifestyles, so there is still hope for me!

Oh, I know what you mean! I re-learn this lesson over and over again! But each time, I really understand it on a deeper level. I LOVE listening to my body. If you have chronic pain, you know that your body speaks to you and that when you don’t listen, it gets grouchy!

Those of us who have had chronic pain/adrenal fatigue issues have very smart bodies that lead us out of this lifestyle – if only we will pay attention.

I love that your friends are thinking this way, too! It’s a revolution! We all must band together!

Mindfulness is indeed one of the topics I plan to discuss in this Dare to Care series, because it’s hugely powerful. And power-napping, or any kind of napping – does it get any better?

Thanks for writing!
Abigail

Well said! That is EXACTLY why I wanted to write on this topic, as it is not the cultural norm to be more relaxed about work and add in self-care and play to our lives. A coach friend of mine called it a national crisis, and I totally agree. We are focused on productivity to the exclusion of all else, and thus we lose out on many of the true pursuits of happiness. I know the pace that feels right to me, and when I push too hard and move too fast, it doesn’t feel right. I’m less fun to be around.

I do think we need to support each other, because it can feel lonely to go against the grain. I tell all of my clients about my very reasonable schedule, my 8-10 hours of sleep each night (my body asks for it, and I give it what it needs) and my time-outs during the day to check in with my body and breathe. They love to hear it, because it helps them feel like it’s okay to live this way.

Yes, we can all get off the hamster wheel, if we so desire! It’s okay!

Congrats on the no guilt! Yay!

Abigail

In the last year one friend told me about power napping and another introduced me to mindfulness. @Gail: here are the women doing something similar that you were hoping to hear of! I’ll have to get round to blogging about those healthy attitudes, to help spread the word. But that goes on the ol’ To Do list!

I was beginning to live by my To Do list again rather than listening to my needs. I was just at the point of realising it was happening but not quite at the point of making the change. (Wonder how many times i’ll have to relearn this new habit.) Happening upon essays like yours is just serendipity. 80) Thanx.

I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY about anything right now! The only thing that really needs to be done at some point is catching up on the Quicken files, and even that can wait.

That’s not to say I wasn’t feeling a little guilty in the last few weeks for the things I thought I should’ve been doing in a more timely fashion, but you know what? It all got done anyway. Somehow. I think years ago I learned that stressing about this stuff is just really counterproductive, and a very painful chronic condition that knocks you off your feet for weeks at a time (the way it used to) was an extremely effective wake-up call for a reassessment of my priorities. What’s truly most important? What can I leave behind or put on the shelf and quit worrying about? It can really focus your mind and force a new perspective… if you let it. IMHO.

Also, this idea of self-care, self-compassion and treating oneself with respect. Doesn’t it make you wonder why our society is not geared toward these ideals? It’s certainly given me pause. Why must we be so hard on ourselves? Why don’t WE deserve our own patience, understanding, and compassion as much as anyone else? What exactly deems us as anything less than a lovable human being? All questions I’ve pondered through the years, although I can’t claim to have any really wise answers about it–just questions.

I think we’re just driven to succeed. At least here in the U.S., we are a PRODUCTIVE group of people! We like action, we value youth over old age, etc. Even our vacations have to be stuffed with activities. I think I read that we’re about the only industrialized, modern nation that allows a mere two weeks a year for vacation as opposed to places like Europe (4-6 weeks). So, we’re workers. One of the first things people ask of anyone when meeting is “what do you do [for a living]?” We don’t ask what we like to do in our spare time. We don’t ask what we do to unwind. We focus on WORK, work, work, and getting things done.

That doesn’t quite mesh well when we need to take time for ourselves and our health. But over the years I’ve tried to think about this from a wider perspective, and not simply to come up with reasons to be a slacker! I really think many of us are just over-taxed (physically & mentally) and have lost a healthy balance. More and more I’m trying to side with the notion that taking care of our health should be a priority, and sometimes that means guilt and productiveness be damned! It’s not selfish to do what you know you really need to do but are denying if it means you’re still a stressed out, unhealthy ball of tension.

This week I’m sleeping when I feel I need to, and for some reason, that’s been a lot lately. No alarm clocks, and the phone gets turned off. I also got my flu shot. I’ll probably take the weekend off entirely, too.

I hope I hear of other women doing something similar. I’m afraid we succumb to pressure all too easily and I like to hear of others who are bucking the system, so to speak.

Gail